Ashton's Tumblr

Aug 13

princessminun:

reasons why summer is fucking gross:

  • very hot weather
  • very humid weather
  • 7583498754397864596 waterbugs
  • 60000 bees/wasps/hornets
  • no sweaters allowed
  • sweat everywhere
  • millions of mosquitos
  • lack of rain
  • bugs
  • skyrocketing electric bills if u use an AC
  • feeling the need to shower every hour
  • did i mention bugs
Aug 13
exemplaryetoile:

confessionsofamichaelstipe:

THIS IS WHAT A WORLD LEADER LOOKS LIKE.  
DESMOND TUTU, I OFFICIALLY LOVE YOU.
      -MICHAEL STIPE  

"I would refuse to go to a homophobic heaven. No, I would say sorry, I mean I would much rather go to the other place," Archbishop Tutu said at the launch of the Free and Equal campaign in Cape Town.
"I would not worship a God who is homophobic and that is how deeply I feel about this."
Archbishop Tutu said the campaign against homophobia was similar to the campaign waged against racism in South Africa.
"I am as passionate about this campaign as I ever was about apartheid. For me, it is at the same level," he added.
[source: BBC News]

exemplaryetoile:

confessionsofamichaelstipe:

THIS IS WHAT A WORLD LEADER LOOKS LIKE.  

DESMOND TUTU, I OFFICIALLY LOVE YOU.

      -MICHAEL STIPE  

"I would refuse to go to a homophobic heaven. No, I would say sorry, I mean I would much rather go to the other place," Archbishop Tutu said at the launch of the Free and Equal campaign in Cape Town.

"I would not worship a God who is homophobic and that is how deeply I feel about this."

Archbishop Tutu said the campaign against homophobia was similar to the campaign waged against racism in South Africa.

"I am as passionate about this campaign as I ever was about apartheid. For me, it is at the same level," he added.

[source: BBC News]

Aug 13

quote

Ten rape prevention tips:

1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.

2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.

3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.

4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.

5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.

6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.

7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.

9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.

10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.

Rape prevention tips

Posted by Leigh Hofheimer under Prevention

(via esmre)
Aug 12
hands0nic:

brokenquill:

The second worst burn that Two Face has ever felt.

the comment perfected this post

hands0nic:

brokenquill:

The second worst burn that Two Face has ever felt.

the comment perfected this post

Aug 12

shadicasper:

#BreakingStereotypes

Aug 12
Aug 12

reblog if you’re an asshole

Aug 12

notthedisneyyourelookingfor:

I’m still in disbelief…

Aug 11

subhumann:

awkwardsituationist:

photos by mark bridger (more deer posts)

I love this so much! Ps some of these are elk.

Aug 11

quote One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via dorkvader)

i feel like this should be published and sold everywhere

(via the-hammer-of-fenris)

Big Poppa E is one of my faves and man he speaks the truuuth

(via i-am-notoceratops)

This might be my favorite post on tumblr, god bless u big poppa e

(via cutmeoffplease)